I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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