I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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