Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
