I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
