love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
