on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
