I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
