I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
