I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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