I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
