just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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