There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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