There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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