please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
