She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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