I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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