That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
