What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
