glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
