I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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