please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
