But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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