That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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