some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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