Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
