I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
