shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
