you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
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Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
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She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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