I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
