dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the condom got lost in my hair
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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