Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize