Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
