This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize