His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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