this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
