It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
