I hate all girls vehemently.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
