thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
