I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So many bounce houses so little time
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
