I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
