You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
