I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize