Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
