this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
