I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
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