Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My feet surprised me
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