I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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