Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
