I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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