I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
