You're my little dorito
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize