i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
