I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
only if we run a train.
done.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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