just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
