3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
