According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
