ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
